Strange Phrase Indeed

Watching the News and Taping Sponge Bob

2011-03-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

Toilet paper researchers in Wisconsin hope that if two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. The team at Georgia Pacific’s Innovation Institute in Neenah, Wisconsin, has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product. The company says the toilet paper is “ultra-soft” and plans to market it to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a “sanctuary for quality time.” *** There are people that use the bathroom for quality time? They need cable.

A woman who tried to get around a ban on female drivers in Saudi Arabia by dressing up as a man was found out when she was ordered to undergo medical checks after a routine police stop. Women in

Saudi Arabia

must wear a veil in public and be driven around by a man.
***The tip off for police was when she stopped to ask for directions.

Be sure to drink plenty of water. This helps to prevent dehydration, which can cause confusion and memory problems. And be sure to get plenty of rest. Being tired can impair your memory as well.
***In other news, it’s been discovered that drinking water and getting plenty of sleep can improve your memory…

Women and young people are the most active users of social media today, and women in their 30s make up more than half of heavy contributors — that is, they engage in six or more social media activities. That’s according to a report by Netpop Research, a San Francisco-based research firm studying Internet trends.
***So… women and teenagers talk more – wow.

Scientists have recently discovered that many kinds of bacteria do not operate independently. Instead, they seem to communicate with each other and only go to work – causing an infection, for example — when they decide that they have reached the critical mass they need to get the job done.
*** I think they studied under the U.S. Congress.

Scientists have created a real-life thinking cap which works by zapping electricity through the brain. The weird-looking headwear has had extraordinary results and experts believe it could help people be more creative. The device was dreamt up by the University of Sydney’s Centre for the Mind in Australia and suppresses the left side of the brain to encourage the more creative right side into action. But Centre director Allan Snyder said students hoping to use it to swot up before exams would be disappointed.   He said: “You wouldn’t use this to study or to help your memory. You would use this if you wanted to look at a problem anew.”
***Like figuring out why you can’t get dates because you look like a dork with a metal helmet on your head.

In an effort to curb school violence, Taylor Thomas was suspended from a Dayton, Ohio, middle school after bringing a dangerous weapon to class. That dangerous weapon was a double fishtail comb. Even though it’s not listed as a banned item in the school code, officials are upholding the suspension. Her mom wants the suspension revoked, and any mention of it removed from Taylor’s school records. However, school officials said they are sticking by their decision and the suspension stands.
***When combs are outlawed, only outlaws will have combs!

Fast-food chain KFC is working on replacing its 50-year-old claim that its chicken is “finger-lickin’ good” as part of a menu of changes aimed at promoting healthy eating and combating its negative image.
***So, what body part can you lick to make it sound more healthy?

A D.C. Council member wants to highlight the city’s lack of statehood and is asking residents to pick another name for

Pennsylvania Avenue

. Among the options on the online survey are

Let D.C. Vote Way

, 51st

State Way

and

Free D.C. Avenue

.
***Another option was to rename it “

Barack Obama Parkway

”, but then it would become a toll road and require change.

Two Beverly Hills plastic surgeons recently surveyed colleagues to find the most requested celebrity body parts, and the Star tabloid figured that if you combined them all, it should create the perfect face. To find out, they pieced together a photo of a woman with Katie Holmes’ eyes, Katherine Heigl’s nose, Keira Knightley’s cheeks, Jessica Simpson’s long blonde hair and Angelina Jolie’s lips; and a photo of a young man with Daniel Craig’s blue eyes, Leonardo DiCaprio’s nose and Matt Damon’s lips. The woman ended up looking like Jeri Ryan if she’d had too much plastic surgery, and the man looked like a young Jay Leno with a smaller chin.
***So… Jay Leno is one chin surgery away from perfection?

What becomes of the broken-hearted? They can go to a hospital in Germany. A clinic for the broken-hearted has been set up in Germany to give emergency treatment to those who have been dumped. The clinic is mainly for love-sick teenagers who do not know how to cope with a broken heart.
***And they’ll tell you everything they tell everyone else. “You’ll get over it, the pain will eventually go away, you’ll meet someone else someday, you’re too good for that person anyway, and we know that you hearing all of this doesn’t matter to you right now, so here’s a gallon of ice cream and a spoon.”

Here Comes the Sun

2011-03-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

When I left work this morning, there was frost on my windshield and I turned the heat in my car WAY up. When I ran to the store a few minutes ago, I had to turn the AC on. I love this time of year! Tomorrow is the first day of spring, but for the next month or so, in northern Illinois, the seasons will overlap. It should be close to sixty for the next couple of days, and then snow within the week. Meanwhile, the world has that mushy, muddy smell that promises thunder storms, squirrels in the yard, and BBQs. In the words of the great (and super sexy) Barry Manilow.. "Looks Like We Made It!" Another winter under our belts. This one flew by.. but maybe because I started a new job the first of October, and there was oodles to keep me busy.

The office where I'd been a supervisor for Bank of America in the credit card and loan department for over ten years closed last December, so I was job hunting for a while last year. Toward the end, the bank was running a little bit scared, I think, and policies changed... customers were frozen out in their attempts to keep their heads above water, and I didn't feel good about the work that I was doing at all. The maps say that the Rockford stateline area has some of the highest unemployment in the country, and it makes sense since we were a huge industrial city for years.. but the factories all closed down, sending workers back to school or into jobs that were unfamiliar. I had my eyes open, but finding a different job wasn't likely. Eventually, though, the office closed its doors and we were all set free to find new digs.

Some of my coworkers found other banks, and a lot of them went into Chicago to do everything from fashion work to landscaping. I looked for a while, and was offered a few jobs that didn't fit. I was worried for a while that I'd end up in Chicago too, and that made me SO unhappy. Rockford is already too big a city for this middle-aged, barefoot country girl. Dammmmit. Anyway... long story short (too late?) I was driving around and applying for jobs one day with my stack of resumes in the back seat and my notebook with directions to the jobs that I'd mapped out in the front seat. I have no sense of direction, so Map Quest is my friend. As I was driving down a bumpy back road, looking for the next place on my list, I was praying. I asked God to find me a job where I could be a blessing to the people that I worked with, and a job that I would feel blessed to have too, and not guilty for raising rates and pulling loans. Some redemption, you know? Just then, my notebook fell on the floor on the other side of the front seat. There were no curbs on the road, and it was too narrow to pull over, so I took the next right hand turn to pick it up. Pulled over. Got my notebook. Fixed my hair. Looked up and saw a sign for a children's home. I went inside and applied for a job.. filled out forms for a background check and DCFS clearance... finished my running and went home. Almost a week later, I called them and asked why they hadn't called me back yet and they offered me a job.

The bad thing about working for a non-profit is the pay. The good thing is... everything else! I love it there. I work in a cottage with nine teenage boys, all with autism and other developmental disabilities. I'm on the NOC shift, but they don't sleep much, and there is never, ever a dull moment. Things have a way of working out.

I had a point in mind when I started this, but I lost it along the way. It had something to do with spring, I'm pretty sure.

Just Like Starting Over

2011-03-15T06:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it was easy enough to find the place, and it's easy enough to post... but I can't find my blogging friends! I checked all of the help tabs, but I'm still feeling all alone here. I'm pretty sure that it will all come together soon.

I took a look back at Blog Stream and realized that it has been ages since I posted there. A while back it picked up that ghost town feel, and I didn't really feel great hanging out there after that. Still chekced in on Whit and Scratch and some others from time to time, but it wasn't the same. Like going home. They say that you can't go home... you can, but it's all different after a while, and sometimes you're better off just staying away.

So... I'm liking the vibe here, and hoping that I get into the swing of things and find you all soon.

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
- C. S. Lewis